Quotes of the week

DALE EARNHARDT, Jr., NASCAR driver, Dale Earnhardt Incorporated
"I'm not going to sit here and get personal about this. The personal stuff is way far away from the racetrack. It's upsetting as hell, and unfortunate. But you know, that's just what happens sometimes. Like I say, I kind of had an idea that we were going to come down this road and have to take another turn. I knew this was the way it was going to happen. I'm not really all that surprised," he said. "I knew I wasn't going to get the number a long time ago, but you wait and wait and wait. Kelley is working, trying to talk to Max, and Max is trying to help. Max tried his butt off to try and make it work, to talk some sense into [Teresa]. But she either feels too personal about the number, or the rift between me and her is too personal. I'm definitely going to look at some 80s and things like that. That's just common sense," he said. "I want a number that I'm going to like, and it's going to be a number I like and one I design. I'll design the shape and the look. It will be mine, and we'll build a new identity with that. Starting with such a clean page next year anyway, maybe it's for the best, sort of a lesson in disguise to make that clean break. Because when I walk away from DEI, I wanted no ties whatsoever. If I was to get the 8, and allow Teresa to have limited control of it, I'd still have to deal with her, and that wasn't what I wanted. We have to let the 8 go, and we have to get something new."

TONY STEWART, NASCAR driver, Joe Gibbs Racing
“Did I say thanks lately? He’s a father now and he understands. He’s really giving now and everything. He’s a kinder even gentler Jeff Gordon than before. I mean, he’s a great guy." Jeff Gordon responded by saying that Stewart could repay him later. Tony said, "I'll bake you a cake or cookies or something." (Stewart was commenting on Gordon "giving" him the extra 10 points for wins in the Chase for the Nextel Cup Championship last weekend at Watkins Glen)

KEVIN HARVICK, NASCAR driver, Richard Childress Racing
"He [Juan Montoya] drives like he doesn't know what he's doing, to be honest with you," said Harvick, who settled for 36th place after last week's incident at Watkins Glen. "He can run fast but he's all over the place and every week it seems like he runs into a different person. In four weeks it's cost us a couple of hundred points and he shrugs it off like he doesn't really care about anybody or anything. You make him mad and it's: 'Well I've got a five-year contract and I'll just wreck you every week.' It's hard to talk to him and he doesn't really respect anyone around him. … I'm not the only one with that opinion."

JUAN PABLO MONTOYA, NASCAR driver, Chip Ganassi Racing with Felix Sabates
"If I didn't know what I was doing I wouldn't have won Indy 500, CART championship, Formula One races. So, I'm pretty comfortable with what I've done. When it's been my fault before … we got together at Daytona and it was my fault, I even called him [Kevin Harvick] and said, 'Hey, I'm sorry.'"

ALAN JONES, former Formula 1 World Champion
"I loved it. The only thing that surprised me about Alonso's tactics was that he didn't pretend to stall the car," Jones said. "Then they couldn't have done a bloody thing to him. I'd be applying all sorts of tricks, psychological or otherwise. By doing what he did in the pit lane, Alonso might have taught Hamilton a bit of a lesson." He said the Spaniard should tell his teammate, "'Mate, you're leading the championship. If you'd like me to bugger that up for you a bit more, you keep going'."

RED BULLSHITOMETER
You've had two weekends without a grand prix so here is a handy Red Bull Dictionary to remind you what all those Press Release quotes really mean: a useful Red Bullshitometer to keep with you throughout the race weekend.

"We have no plans to change any of our drivers in the near future."
Means: "We plan to change one of our drivers on Monday after the race."

"The car retired with an electrical failure."
Means: "The engine seized, threw a piston and con rod through the side of the block where it cut through the electrical wiring loom, causing an electrical failure." If you run a customer engine, under no circumstances can you have an engine failure.

"We do not know what fuel loads the other teams were running in qualifying."
Means: "We are in deep trouble because we are slower than the others, but actually it's worse than that because we are much, much slower than them, as they have enough fuel to run ten laps more than us at the start of the race."

"But the car has very good pace in race trim, so we should be okay for the race."
Means: "Our car is just plain slow, but if we are stuck in the middle of the pack with no chance of overtaking, we can claim we had a competitive car and no one will know we are lying."

"We knew our car would struggle on this type of circuit."
Means: "Our car would struggle on any type of circuit made up of a tarmac road surface laid out with straights and corners."

"I have a very good relationship with my teammate."
Means: "I am comfortably quicker than my teammate."

"I have a good working relationship with my teammate."
Means: "I hate my teammate. I call him my 'team-hate.' He can't even remember the names of his mechanics, he does hardly any testing, and yet he just turns up and drives the car and is quicker than me. He also has a much prettier girlfriend."

"A difficult first day of practice which saw us struggle to find the right balance on the car. We still need to complete our tire comparison program."
Means: "The car is a complete pig and the only balance I'm ever likely to find is the one in my bank account. As for the tire choice, we'll toss a coin in the hotel bar tonight to decide which one to use."

"Next year, we should be able to challenge for race wins on a regular basis."
Means: "We said exactly the same thing last year, but hope no one will notice that we are repeating ourselves."